The reviews range from pans verging on the eloquent:
John Carter is one of those films that is so stultifying, so oppressive and so mysteriously and interminably long that I felt as if someone had dragged me into the kitchen of my local Greggs, and was baking my head into the centre of a colossal cube of white bread.
To the rather glowing:
For me, this is the first movie of its kind in a very long time that I’d willingly sit through a second or even third time.
Knowing my rather pedestrian tastes (did anyone see me give a Bollywood rom-com 4 arrows?) and the fact that I’ve been fascinated by old pulp fiction ever since I stumbled upon a row of dusty Ian Fleming novels in my college library, I’m fairly certain I could be entertained by this movie. The only trick is convincing my husband to spend a few hours with a movie his favorite critic called mediocre.
Wish me luck!
If I’m successful, I may even post a Show Me the Romance review for John Carter–reviewing only the romance, of course :-).